The anatomy of cowardice

To be honest, I don't really want to write this down, yet I feel I must. Better out than in, as they say.

Some time ago I had a very brief, very carnal relationship with a lady who happened to be the former girlfriend of a guy I know. The fling had very little impact on anything and we parted ways after no more than an eyeblink. Yet because of little else than the desire to instigate worthless drama on the part of the other players, I've had to deal with a myriad of bullshit and bad blood for weeks because of this little stroll down flesh avenue. I suppose these people have such boring lives they feel justified in trying to spice up the tedium by going completely overboard on the emotional front.

The manchild in question has now upped the ante on this farce and my blood is boiling. Things have escalated to the point where this petulant, spineless little waste of flesh is doing his hardest to blacklist me in the eyes of our shared circle(s) of friends. His modus operandi for accomplishing this? By lying his ass off.

I assume he feels I had a part to play in the dissolution of his relationship, which is completely untrue. Regardless, he continues to dwell on me with incredible persistence, trying to bullshit his way into the head of anyone who will listen. He appears to be able to completely ignore the fact that I've made it painstakingly clear I want(ed) no part in the private affairs of this duo - even when one half of it wanted to break her promise of fidelity. My conscience is clear. Hers isn't.

In spite of this, the gent in question is trying to avenge some fabricated transgression he believes I'm guilty of by acting like a complete buffoon. The most ridiculous aspect is his attempts to undermine me by voicing rather stumbling backstab attempts to people who have far stronger ties to yours truly than this little pity magnet. His attempts to maintain a facade of him being a victim could've held up, I suppose, had he not resorted to dirty tactics right off the get-go. Perhaps his naivety has prohibited him from realizing that those very people he's been trying to poison would inform me about this person's spewage of vicious lies straight away. For a while there I found it little more than pathetic and thought no more of it, but when he decided to start involving other people in his fairytales, my well of sympathy and empathy ran dry in a heartbeat.

I had a unique experience with a certain girl some time ago, unique for me anyway, one I've written about many times. Uplifting one moment and embarrassing the next, things reached a boiling point of sorts and finally simmered down and faded into oblivion. I won't deny that my handling of the events was rather chaotic, even juvenile at times, but it served as a learning experience. I'm sad it ended the way it did, but what I've taken away from that is the five minutes of smiles and shared sanctuary. It is something that is mine and mine alone, a faintly glimmering jewel of a handful of joyful moments hidden deep in the back of my mind. No one has business commenting or speculating about it aside from the two people involved. End of discussion.

But when someone whose involvement in my private affairs is completely nonexistent drags my personal relationships - in this instance, particularly the one transcribed above - into his little web of lies designed to undermine my very essence and pour vitriol upon my persona for a measure of petty revenge, my cup runneth over. And for what? To paint a picture of me as some sort of insidious boogeyman out to rape and pillage other people's happiness? The absurdity of all this is overwhelming.

I still have strong feelings toward this lovely temptress and the fact that someone would try to piss on my shoes by attacking her integrity is below any and all standards in my book. The very thought of this spineless coward lying through his teeth about affairs he has no true knowledge of fills me with such wrath I need to steel myself not to punch holes in the walls. Never mind the fact that I've been nothing but a friend to this little bastard and that his imaginary escapades of seeing me as some sort of instigator of his personal problems is completely unfounded, the fact that he dared to drag people I hold in high regard into this mess of bitterness and lies offends me to my very core. They deserve better than that. So do I.

I don't enjoy harboring ill will towards anyone or wallowing in negativity. I don't like myself in this mindset, as anger has a funny way of narrowing one's view to the width of a needle's eye. I'm trying to take the high road by basically wiping this person's existence from my mind and ignoring him altogether. I can only hope that will be the only course of action I need to take.